Things Dad would Say

In the present the world has changed to one of short and fast sensory input. The president communicates with tweets, people can have entire conversations in emojis, and internet acronyms such as LOL and OMG are commonplace not only digitally but in speech. In the past people used expressions which used words and some were actually full blown sentences.

One of the things I'll always remember from my childhood are the things that my dad always used to say. No, they weren't dirty, not really, and they weren't full of cuss words, they were just fun and memorable.

My nickname was Tom-O, not Tom or Tommy. I always liked Tom-O the best, but ended up being Tommy for most of my life. If you want to make me smile call me Tom-O.

When my bedroom was messy, my dad would say “this place looks like Hogan's Goat.”

When I wanted something, my dad would answer “people in Hell want ice water.”

When I asked my dad where we're going he'd say “crazy want to go.”

Me with my dad about 1969.

When I asked my dad if we were going to do something he would say “might as well we can't dance.”

When I asked about what's for dinner, dad would say “bread and pull it.”


When I asked about where babies came from he'd say "an eagle shit on a rock and the sun hatched you."


Sometimes when we'd see a pretty girl dad would say “hey Tom-O there's a sexy broad.”

Also, like for maybe of us in the area, the creek was always the crick and the crick had wooder, not water.

Once in a while he would say: "Tommy you ain't no good, gonna chop you up for firewood, put you in the pot when it's hot, put you in the bowl when you cold."

Now, for the last one I can remember for the moment, when I would ask where is mom, he would reply, “she went to take a shit and the hogs ate her.” When I was little I heard it so fast I thought he was talking about a place called a hogzater, I thought it was a special place where mom’s went to poop. Once I got a little older I figured out what he was saying.

If you have a memory of some long-forgotten expression please share it in the comments.